Thursday, January 31, 2008

Lonely, middle-aged men, little girls and hot pink t-shirts


I read this article a while ago and found it hilarious... in a very creepy sort of way.

I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.

http://www.deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,660214486,00.html

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I heard it myself: Cougs win!

It’s a good night to be a right-wing conservative BYU fan. After a very nice performance by Mitt Romney in the California GOP debate, the BYU men’s basketball team came out and put a hurt on Air Force in the Cadets’ beloved Clune Arena. The final score: 69-53.

It was perhaps the best game I’ve ever listened to.

That’s right, I couldn’t watch my beloved Cougars on the telly. I was forced to sit on my bed and stare at my beat up little alarm clock/radio like an animal. No disrespect to Greg Wrubell, the voice of the BYU Cougars whom I love and envy, I hate listening to games. I just feel so… helpless.

…as opposed to TV where I truly do make a difference. (Although my wife will disagree… and usually just tell me to stop yelling ).

I did enjoy the chance I had to clean my shoes while listening to the game, though, I must say. Multi-tasking has always been a passion of mine.

Anyhow, what a game! The Clune Arena is never an easy place to play, and actually I have to give Mr. Wrubell some credit for giving me this little stat: BYU hasn’t won at AFA two consecutive times since ’95 and ’96. Well, they did it again tonight… and, you know, last year.

All you JT doubters out there will be disappointed to learn that JT had another huge night. He especially came up big in the second half, and hit some big shots to quell the pesky Falcons whenever they made a run. Welp, I guess Tavernari is good after all. Dang! What are we going to complain about now?!

(JT—I know you’re a loyal reader, and I hope you can detect the sarcasm. I’ve always been a fan.)

Cummard sounded good too. Honestly, when I first saw Cummard in 2005 I never thought he would turn into Mr. Everything and Mr. Reliable at the same time. Cummard, I salute you. Also, I hereby finally submit to those who say he is the best player on our team. At last, I now concur.

Good win on the road, Cougs. And kudos to Trent Plaisted for playing with a disease-ridden Italian midget in his stomach… or so I heard.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Sloths!

In addition to your leading source for meaningless commentary on sports news that happened days and sometimes weeks earlier, Adam's Sports Blog will now be your exclusive home for Sloths! basketball team news.

Last night, Sloths! started their season with a thrilling 55-47 win over some team whose name I can't remember. Blake Lloyd scored the most points, I think, and Adam Olsen recorded the longest hair of the evening.

Player of the game goes to Ross Mitchell for his defensive specialty. Mitchell had at least three steals, which led to easy fast break points for our favorite Burley-ite. Mitchell was also involved in my favorite play of the night. After the other team stole the ball and was on their way to an easy fast-break lay in, Mitchell stormed down the court, caught the other team's player from behind and pinned the lazy shot against the backboard. The whole gym erupted- and by that I mean our wives and some stray onlookers. Good work, Ross.

Russ Nelson, Justin Lee and Andrew Law also gave valuable minutes to the Sloths!. Lee was especially fun to watch, connecting on several mid-range jumpers, but failing to make a single layup.

Finally, Jeris Hobbs and Jeff Hill gave the Sloths! much needed physicality and defense under the hoop. It was not a high scoring game by any means, but the gutty defense and physical play made the difference.

Kudos to the Sloths! for their first win of the season. Next up: Some other team I can't remember on Wednesday, Feb. 6.

Now let's check in with Brian Collins for the latest news about the Ball State Cardinals.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Get Well Soon, Paul

Paul Kruger is a Defensive End for the University of Utah. He was also a sophomore at Timpanogos High School in 2002 when I was a senior.

I knew him a little bit, mostly because he was an athlete, and a part of an incoming sophomore class of freaky huge man-boys. THS alumni know exactly what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I was shocked to learn on Sunday that he and his little brother, along with another Utah player, were attacked by a gang of unidentified thugs. Paul was stabbed with a screwdriver, and his little brother David was hit in the back of the head with brass knuckles.

Why they were attacked is not exactly understood. Some have speculated it was a random act of violence, some say it was a gang, but no one really knows.

What I do know is Paul is a decent guy, and certainly did not deserve this attack. The whole story makes me sick. I hope they find whoever did this, and I badly hope this kind of unadulterated violence will be extinguished from our society.

I wish him well, and as much as it pains me to say this, I hope he's back on Utah's D-line as soon as humanly possible.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Welcome to Provo, O'Neill!


O'Neill Chambers, let me be the first to welcome you to our humble little home in the mountains here in Provo, Utah. As an avid fan, I couldn't be happier that you decided to leave your Florida home and join the mighty Cougars of BYU.

The weather may be cold, the elevation may be high, and there may be a silly little thing called an "honor code," (A note to my more puritan readers: I don't really think the Honor Code is silly), but you made a good choice when you pledged to your future brothers this last weekend to make BYU your new football home.

I don't want to overstep my bounds, but I would like to offer some advice to you, and every incoming freshman in the 2008 recruiting class.

1. Go to practice.
2. I'd probably stay away from alcohol.
3. Not only alcohol, but probably pain pills too. Just to be safe.
4. If Terrance Hooks and Vic So'oto invite you to go to a party, you should probably politely decline.
5. Same goes if these guys invite you to a party.
6. Obey traffic laws.
7. Just because a dorm room is open, doesn't mean you can go in and take whatever you want.
8. Mops are meant for cleaning, not for weaponry.

That's all I can think of now, but I'm sure that if you follow those 8 rules, O'Neill, my guess is you'll have a long, successful career here at BYU. Good luck, my new friend, and may legions of footballs fly continually in your direction.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Local Sports Writer Endorses Green Bay

PROVO-- In a much anticipated announcement earlier today, BYU student and local sports blogger Adam Olsen threw his support behind the Green Bay Packers to represent the NFL as Super Bowl champions.

"Green Bay is the team to do it," Olsen said in an official statement. "I believe the Packers represent our country's football values better than any other team in the field, and I support them 100% in their bid to become world champions."

The announcement was met with both disbelief and regret among Olsen's peers. Some say Olsen is living in a dream world, others say Green Bay is not much of a real contender.

"This is a shocking, and in many ways disappointing, move by my good friend Adam Olsen," said Ross Mitchell of Orem. "I don't understand his affinity to a team that consistently devastated his 49ers of the late Nineties."

Mitchell did not go so far as to say Olsen is a flip-flopper, but did question Olsen's recent acceptance of the Packers.

"Look, all I'm saying is Adam didn't like the Packers back in '97 when they beat up on Steve Young and the 49ers," Mitchell said. "I think Adam needs to remember his roots before making these declarations."

Olsen's long-time friend Russ Nelson had a more cynical reaction to the announcement.

"Adam is just jumping on the Brett Favre bandwagon," said Nelson, a self-proclaimed Jacksonville Jaguar fan. "He likes Favre because of his fantasy football league, that's all."

Nelson's words may in fact have an element of truth. Olsen did indeed draft Brett Favre amid a cloud of controversy back in his August '07 Fantasy Draft. Surprisingly, it turned out to be one of the best pickups of the league. Favre became one of the most productive quarterbacks in the '07-'08 season, and led Olsen's team to an 12-3 finish before being benched in week 16 for Jacksonville's David Garrard.

Olsen said his choice for the Packers as a whole, however, was for many more reasons than just Favre. He admitted the Packers are young, but said he likes the raw talent displayed during the regular season.

"Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, Ryan Grant- these are good players," Olsen said. "Combine them with Brett Favre, who is playing out of his mind, and this is a team that will go deep into the playoffs and, I believe, win the Super Bowl."

Olsen supports the Packers despite repeated claims that the New England Patriots may be the best team ever to play in the NFL, and most people's pick to win this year's Super Bowl.

Olsen has successfully picked the last 2 Super Bowl winners: the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2006, and last year's Indianapolis Colts.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Thursday Thoughts: Jaime Hill Promoted

If you know BYU football, and I mean KNOW BYU football, then you already know who Jaime Hill is.

For the rest of you, Jaime Hill is the defensive back coach at BYU, and he was recently promoted to the position of Defensive Coordinator.

That may not sound too big of news, so let me detail just how important Jaime Hill is to BYU.

1. Jaime Hill is an incredible coach. Remember in 2005 when our DBs were the worst unit on our team? Remember when teams like New Mexico, Wyoming, TCU and Cal would trow on us and score at will? Remember how mercilessly we mocked Justin Robinson, our favorite 150-pound cornerback?

When Hill took over in 2006, he took the same DB core and turned them into a strength. He taught them technique, he taught them how to tackle, and he turned Justin Robinson into an asset, rather than a liability.

In 2007 he further proved his worth when our DBs were totally decimated by injury. Player after player went down, but there was absolutely no loss in production because each safety and cornerback was well-trained and well-coached.

2. Hill is black, and not LDS. Don't get me wrong, I love the Mormons, but Hill is the first non-LDS coach to be a coordinator in a long, long time. Maybe forever. And if you think race isn't an issue, you've got another thing coming. It is imperative that BYU have a man like Hill on their staff if for no other reason than to relate to these 17-21 year old kids who have never seen a place like Provo before. His role as mentor may be the most important role he can play to young recruits and freshmen, not to mention the upper-classmen.

3. Hill represents maturity for the BYU program. We all knew Bronco could be head coach and defensive coordinator for so long. He needed to find himself a coach, and now that he has done it BYU will be better off. Hill was no doubt being courted by other schools, and locking him down with a promotion is one of the best moves Bronco and the football department have made to date.

If you haven't guessed it already, I'm a huge Jaime Hill fan. His experience and proven worth make him the best coach (besides Bronco) on the BYU roster. I hope he stays a long time, and I hope Bronco can keep surrounding himself with the very best talent.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Is Gary Crowton our Urban Meyer?

Where were you on Monday night? I, for one, was on my couch watching one of the most boring BCS bowl games I've ever seen.

And, for someone who was rooting for Ohio State, it was one of the most painful.

LSU, as everyone knows by now, blew out the Buckeyes and became the 2007-2008 NCAA football national champions. Head Coach Les Miles led his team to a national championship, but national critics are quick to point out the contributions of another man: Gary Crowton.

Now if there's one thing I hate it's how Utah claims credit for Urban Meyer's success in Florida. It bothers me to no end how the Utes still keep this connection open between Urban Meyer, an admittedly talented coach, and the school he used as a stepping stone to get to a better situation.

When Meyer won the national championship last year, Utah fans were at their most obnoxious. Well, now we BYU fans are in a similar position. One of our own, Crowton, was an instrumental cog, albeit not the head coach, in this year's national champion LSU.

So how do you, as a BYU fan, feel about it?

Are you happy for Crowton? Is this a good reflection on BYU? Do you claim some part of this success? Do you look at Crowton and say "That man is a BYU man"?

I know there are differences between Meyer and Crowton. For instance, Crowton was fired by BYU's administrators. Meyer left Utah voluntarily when he was courted by the bigger school. As was mentioned earlier, Meyer is a head coach, but Crowton is only the offensive coordinator.

(Incidentally, is an OC job at a BCS school a better job than a head coach at a non-BCS school? Talk amongst yourselves)

Personally, my opinion of Crowton hasn't changed one bit. I see Crowton as a brilliant offensive coordinator. He has a mind for offense. When he has talent around him, he can do some pretty impressive things. We saw it at BYU, Oregon and now LSU.

However, Gary Crowton is not head coach material. Or rather, he is not BYU head coach material. He couldn't handle the unique challenges that are inherant at BYU, and his inability to control his players, rather than his record, was what got him fired here in Provo.

Anyway, I think it's great for Crowton, I'm happy for him, but I still do not forgive him for what he did to our beloved Cougars. The negative impression he left at BYU is only now starting to disappear, and while I'm happy for his success, I completely agree with those who made the decision to fire Crowton in 2004.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Bad News! We're not as good as we thought...

This is why I don't write after losses. I get all pouty like a pre-teen girl.

BYU missed a golden opportunity to get a solid road win tonight by losing to Wake Forest 79-62. I didn't see the game, along with everyone else west of North Carolina, but it didn't sound pretty. I can always tell when BYU loses: Greg Wrubell just doesn't have the same spring in his voice.

If there's one thing that has been consistent the past few years, it's this: BYU's inability to win on the road. It has plagued us for years now, and it always drives me crazy.

And it always leads me to ask this question: Why can't BYU ever give me a nice solid win? (Louisville is the exception- and wouldn't you know it? They're not even that good). Why can't we go into a big ballin' town like Wake Forest and pull out a win? Why can't the football team walk into Boston College and rip some faces off? Why Why Why???

You know, we BYU fans keep clamoring for national respect. Well guess how you earn national respect?

BY BEATING THE NATIONAL TEAMS!

BYU needs to stop letting the UCLAs and Wake Forests of the world dominate them. Every time they do, they remind us that BYU is right where they belong- down there with Colorado State and the rest of the MWC rejects.

And do you want to know the worst thing? That was our last chance. Now all we have left is MWC games, which we'll probably dominate. And then the NCAA tournament where we'll probably...

I'm not going to finish that sentence. Hope lingers.

See? I don't take losses well.

Friday, January 04, 2008

A BYU revenge game


Last night was a night of streak-maintenance: I kept my BYU basketball home-game attendance streak alive, and the team kept their home-game winning streak alive.

I think I had the tougher time, though. With family in town and me still in the Christmas break daze, I had to make quite the commitment to take the 10 minute walk down to the Marriott Center.

I'm glad I did. For those who missed it, BYU played a great game last night. Loyola Maramount didn't really bring anything to the table, other than they were the last team to beat us at home back in the season-opener in 2005, but it turned into a fun game to watch nonetheless.

Jonathan Tavernari's sharpshooting, Lee Cummard working the fast break and Chris Miles' huge dunk made the night a good one, and the game was just what the Cougars needed after a disappointing loss to Boise State. Click here to watch highlights of the game. (Ignore all the other stuff about Utah State and Southern Utah, but pay attention to the segment about the Utah Jazz and Kyle Korver. I, for one, couldn't be happier he's now in a Jazz uniform.)

Incidentally, ever notice how I rarely mention losses? The Boise State loss, for instance. If all you do is read this blog, you probably don't even know that BYU lost to Boise State the other night. I don't talk about losses, and I think it's because I go into a bit of a cocoon after losses. I don't read the paper, I don't talk about them. I just wait until the next game day comes.

Anyway, fun game last night. Player of the game goes to Chris Miles for playing huge defense, and slamming home a missed three-pointer that brought the Marriott Center crowd to its knees begging for more.

Miles is coming right along, he just needs to get in shape and get some confidence on the offensive side of the ball. His defense is solid.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Thursday Thoughts: 1/3/2008

Happy New Year from all of us at Adam's Sports Blog! All the best to you and yours at the beginning of a glorious new year.

Loyal readers will quickly note that I didn't post a "Thursday Thoughts" last week, and for that I apologize. I can't afford to miss a week, especially with such a young column, but Christmastime called, and I had to answer. But here I am, ready to make amends, with a fresh batch of thoughts for the new year.

1. Think Hawai'i has a chance in 2008? I think the 'Bows did everyone in America a disservice by accepting an invitation to play in the Sugar Bowl. First of all, the general fans of college football were treated to a miserably lopsided Georgia win, Hawai'i fans were totally embarrassed, and Georgia fans were treated to a pitiful little football team after having an argument to play in the national championship. Real good, Hawai'i. Thanks to you and your rag-tag bunch of dirtmongers you call a team, any non-BCS team will have that much harder a time getting into a big bowl game. Rainbows. Psssh.

2. I witnessed first-hand why the Jazz aren't living up to expectations so far this year: defense. The Jazz don't do it. I was in attendance during the Utah Jazz/Boston Celtics game, and we would have won the game if we played defense, instead of losing a close one. Ray Allen went off (surprise), and Kevin Garnett had a hey day. And Mehmet Okur watched it all from somewhere behind the three point line with a slightly confused look on his face.

3. Jazz big three: Paul Millsap, Ronnie Brewer and C.J. Miles. These guys are scrappy, and they add toughness, quickness and shooting to the jazz bench.

4. Jazz low three: Mehmet Okur, Jaron Collins and Gordan Giricek. Technically Gira isn't on the Jazz anymore, but his horrid play still needs to be mentioned as a contribution to the Jazz' current slump. And Okur- talk about a lazy player. Yeesh. Hey Memo, just try to play somewhere on the court beside the three point line. See if you like it.

5. BYU football 2007 MVP: Austin Collie. It's no secret that AC is my favorite player on BYU's team right now. Austin Collie is a big-time player, and he will have a couple of huge years as he moves through the BYU program. He was just a shade under 1,000 yards this year, and that is a feat that hasn't been duplicated since Todd Watkins broke 1,000 during the pass-happy Gary Crowton years when he was the primary target. Now Collie plays in a spread offense, where the ball is distributed to a host of receivers, and he has distinguished himself as the go-to guy. Not only that, but he did it after serving an honorable 2-year LDS mission. Collie is the man, and I hope to heck that he doesn't leave us early. Runners-up: Max Hall, Harvey Unga and Jan Jorgenson

6. BYU had plenty of unsung heroes on the football team this year, but I'd like to give special mention to one in particular: Corby Hodgkiss. Corby, if you'll remember, stepped in to replace David Tafuna, who was injured during fall camp. Tafuna was set to replace Dustin Gabriel, who was also injured during fall camp. Essentially, Hodgkiss was our third string KAT (strong) safety. Did anyone notice a drop-off in talent? Anyone? Actually, the opposite is true. Corby has not only been a solid defender, he turned into the playmaker on defense. He recorded multiple interceptions, multiple would-be interceptions, tough tackling and at least one pick-six. By the way- Hodgkiss also suffers from a very serious form of diabetes. Heckuva guy.

7. Remember Matangi Tonga? He played in 2006, but missed 2007 because he was dismissed from the football team for breaking team rules. He was an incredible player, and started as a freshman on the D-line. Well, my sources say he's back at BYU now, and is ready to wreak havoc on the D-line in 2008. Welcome back, Manase's little brother!

And finally, 8. I don't really care about the Rose bowl this year. Sorry.