Tuesday, May 13, 2008

ANTOGA: Top Three

Real men face their faults, and I am no exception. I fully realize it has been far too long since I've updated everyone (who has assuredly been waiting on pins and needles) concerning the next phase of America's Next Top Obscure Guest Author.

For my negligence, I apologize. By way of explanation, you all should know that I've been extremely busy (graduation, NBA Finals, Pizza Hut buffet, etc.), but I should have made time for my contest, and I know that.

This contest has become very much like a newborn babe to me. I can only hope that I'll be a much better father to a real human being made of flesh and blood than I have been to my digital child made of HTML code and Web links.

Now, let me switch gears for a moment to address a serious issue. I have heard grumblings among my readers that the voting for ANTOGA has not been fair. I have heard your complaints, and frankly I'm a little insulted.

Yes, I admit it was a little strange that my wife, Becky, happened upon 100+ votes literally minutes before the poll ended to vault from dead last to first place in the standings, but I assure you, I had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Becky possesses an unconquerable spirit, and has demonstrated a true desire to win this contest. She did what she had to do to make it into the next round, and that involved self-promotion, the power of suggestion, and flat out begging co-workers and family members to vote for her. And I respect that.

But it's time to put all that behind us. Another round is upon us, and only you, the readers, can decide who will get his or her voice to sound off on any subject so desired.

Now, as we enter the second-to-last round of ANTOGA, there is only one question: Who has the brass to make it all the way to the winner's throne?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present your three finalists (images courtesy of Google Image Search):

Rebecca Olsen
Likes: Flowers, Cakes, Vampires and hairy lower backs
Dislikes: Cats, Ryan Howard, Waking up from naps
Advantages: New York City sass
Disadvantages: Small pinkies
Why she should be ANTOGA: "I keep it true, and I know what it's like on the other side."

Jeris Hobbs
Likes: Gmail Chat, Doc's Pizza, Neil Diamond and the Virgin River Gorge
Dislikes: Spending money, Laramie, Work
Advantages: Mohawk experience
Disadvantages: Has a history of chubbiness
Why he should be ANTOGA: "I don't need to beg. Corby Hodgkiss can vouch for me."

Justin Lee
Likes: The Yankees, His bowie knife, The cattle range and Cougarboard.com
Dislikes: The Red Sox, Coyotes, Facilities Management Majors
Advantages: PBR insight
Disadvantages: Pro-Choice
Why he should be ANTOGA: "I don't care about this contest. Vote for Jeris."

There they are: your champions. Vote with your heart, and let the stars guide you in your quest. After one week, the top two vote-getters will remain; the bottom feeder will vanish into an abyss of nothingness.


Justin said...

Why do I need your blog to make my voice heard? Just visit casualoutdoorsman.blogspot.com any time if you want to read my thoughts. If you want to see some of that on this site, vote for Justin.

Ross said...

Maybe each ANTOGA could write up a quick article--250 words, or less. That way we could have something to base our vote on.

Justin, something inside me wants to vote for you, but I just don't feel that turkey hunting and baseball are sports.

Mike said...

Whoever really wants to win needs to win me over. Just remember, I could write a program that would vote 10,000 times a second for the person I choose.

Becky said...

mike...i'll buy you a rolex out here. name your price.