Tuesday, August 12, 2008

ANTOGA Final Entries

Time to pick your winner, everyone! I finally received entries from both Becky and Jeris, and I will present them now without commentary.

Jeris: "I never really expected to make it this far in Adam's little reality TV knockoff contest, but here I am, one of the finalists to ANATONGA or what ever the crap it is called. I guess it all boils down to this. I don't really care if I lose because losing is my thing. I'm up against some stiff competition (Adam is sleeping with the other contestant). So here is my history. I graduated from Hillcrest High School and applied to BYU Idaho, but due to my horrific score of 19 on the ACTs the big wigs in the suits gave me a summer term to prove myself. Well I worked hard and after my mission I moved to greener pastures and a real football team when BYU in Provo opened their arms. I have played almost every intramural sport and I think that my combined record is somewhere down in the 13 and 64 range, needless to say I never got the CHAMP t-shirt that all freshmen lie in their little dorm bed dreaming about during their first semester. Suzanna, the girl I later married, turned down my proposals about two dozen times (over a period of a year). Well long story short we are now happily married with a kid on the way...eventually...maybe. Anyways point is, I don't think I'm going to win. The odds are stacked against me, but does that matter? I don't think so. I'll wake up tomorrow and continue to suck and I'll continue to blaze a trail until my day comes."

Becky: "Let's face it many women don't understand football and frankly don't care. They go to the games; put on some makeup and a cute tee…mostly for social reasons. Don't worry; I was once there too (but not entirely). They complain that the boyfriend/spouse spends more time watching Sports Center or classic BYU games on the Mountain. Yet, they expect him to see every chick-flick and comment on their latest MAC makeup purchase. Give me a chance to post on ASB and I'll give you six tips to helping you (or your significant other) not only understand football, but love it!"

There it is, readers. Vote for your champion and in one week's time America's First Top Obscure Guest Author will be named.

6 comments:

Justin said...

I'll vote for you Jeris (no offense Becky). I too am a loser, after all you both beat me in the semi-finals despite my superior knowledge of everything, not to mention sports. Here's to the underdog winning!

By the way you can visit byucougarcrazies.blogspot.com and see first hand some of Jeris' handy work.

parley said...

So this is a contest for "America's Next Top Obscure Guest Author".

Jeris - a couple of strikes against you. Since justin posted where your musings are available, you're already less obscure and therefore close to disqualification by definition. Plus, your entry seems like a concession speech. I'm generally partial to underdogs, but you should at least try to win.

Becky's motivation was dazzlingly demonstrated when she stuffed the ballot box to make it into the ANTOGA finals. Such underhanded dealing aught to be rewarded, just like the underage Chinese olympic gymnastics team. I expect Becky's enthusiasm to be reflected in her writing.

Becky, your obscurity awaits!

Trevor said...

Adam, it's been more than 24 hours since your last post. I need more.

Rock said...

Yeah Adam, you lied. You said you were doing two-a-days this week. Yesterday wasn't even a one-a-day.

ali said...

looks Like Jeris is seriously soliciting the "sympathy vote." Unfortunately I can't be guilt tripped into voting for him, so I choose Becky.

Jason Sanders said...

i vote for becky. although, i'm not sure how to do it. . .is leaving a comment enough, i couldn't find a submit vote button or anything.

and beck, this is a big deal that i am leaving a comment. i really don't like people knowing that i check out people's blogs. i want them to think i have more of a life.

later,

j