Friday, November 07, 2008
Allow me to introduce you, my adoring readers, to Utah-ball.
Utah-ball is the brand of football they play up in Rice Eccles Stadium. It involves sucking for a straight 55 minutes, and then playing out of their heads for the last five.
Utah-ball is not scoring a touchdown the whole game until their very last drive (which happens to be a game-winner).
Utah-ball also means game-winning field goals, and the supreme king of Utah-ball is Louie Sakoda.
Utah-ball also has an effect on the opposing team--causing them to call outrageous, mind-bottling plays and miss easy field goals.
Utah-ball is the luckiest football you'll ever see played, and might include some voodoo black magic. I'm still trying to find that out for sure.
Whatever the case, Utah has beaten just about every team on its schedule by playing its patented Utah-ball. Including TCU last night.
I mean, you saw the game, right? What other explanation is there? TCU gets deep into Utah territory only to get sacked for 20 yards, putting them out of FG range. TWICE!
Then TCU missed two easy, peasy field goals. TWO!
Not only that, but TCU's defense had Utah by the throat the whole game only to completely break down in the last two minutes. And what happened? Utah drove down the field like they were the best team in the universe and scored an easy go-ahead touchdown with like 40 seconds left.
And of course, TCU looked completely inept in that last drive. They looked half-retarded. Asking a non-BYU MWC team to march down the field in under a minute is like asking Rosie O'Donnell to start shaving her back. It ain't gonna happen.
Anyway, it was a good game last night. Utah pulled another one out of its hat, and give them credit for it. Now there is only one team that can stop them. November 22 can't come soon enough.