Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Ten Commandments for fans

Every fan is different. Some are crazy, some are wishy-washy. Some are prudish, some are boorish, some are loud and some are just havin' a good time.

Every fan has their own personal code of conduct. What is standard procedure for one fan may be lazy, offensive or just plain wrong for another. That being said, there is a standard by which every fan should live. I've compiled this list of Ten Commandments for every fan. May you live them in peace.

1. Thou Shalt Wear Thy Team's Colors. Seems like a no-brainer, right? but thousands of people all over the country attend sporting events in rogue colors. If you're going to take the time to attend a game, take the time to pull over a team t-shirt.

2. Thou Shalt Sing Thy Team's Fight Song. This rule may not literally apply to every fan (pro sports, etc.), but the spirit of the law remains. Learn the words, sing proud and support your team.

3. Thou Shalt Not Boo Thine Own Team, Coach or Players
. Booing your own troops is bush-league, low-class trash. I don't care how poorly JT... or anyone else... is playing.

4. Thou Shalt Attend
. If you live close, if you can afford it and if you have the time, you need to attend every possible home game. This goes double for the blue hairs who already have season tickets but just don't show up to the games.

5. Thou Shalt Watch. When you can't get to the games, watch them on TV. If you can't watch it on TV, listen on the radio. If you can't do that, jump on the Interwebs afterward and read the report.

6. Thou Shalt Not Conflict. You want to know what I say to people who schedule things during games? Nothing, because I don't go. Don't be one of those guys. Your EQ activity can wait a few hours.

7. Thou Shalt Not Cheer For Thy Rival
. I know others may disagree, but all true fans have rivals, and and all rivals must be trodden under your feet.

8. Thou Shalt Educate Thyself. First tier fans, know the players. Second tier, read the newspapers. Third tier fans, check the blogs, read the message boards and leave comments. Whatever level of fan you are, make sure you know what's going on.

9. Thou Shalt Read ASB. This one's a given. Tell your friends.

10. Thou Shalt Cheer With All Thy Might. Be a part of the game. Cheer loudly and don't be afraid of the old people that sit behind you and tell you to be quiet. Your team needs you. Don't believe your wife and kids: You can make a difference. Even if you're just watching at home.

Did I miss anything? Please, feel free to leave your commandments in the comments below.


Laughter Matters... said...

I think you pretty much nailed it. I'm going to print this out and give it as my Christmas gift to pretty much EVERYONE this year :) Thanks for your blog and tweets...I really enjoy them! Go Cougs!

shankopotamus said...

Really interesting post. I have some thoughts on a few of these and I would be curious to hear your reaction:

1. I basically agree. One exception: I will never wear a Red Sox shirt into Yankee Stadium after what they did to me and my dad there when I was 12.

2. I can't stand the sound of my voice when singing. And I think fight songs are weird. And I hate rolling my hands and punching the air. Has nothing to do with my knowledge of, or passion for, a sport or a team, as I see it.

4. This is true IF you are a student and/or don't have young kids. If you do have young kids and attempt to leave your wife home with them while you parade off to a game (after she has been home alone with them all day or all week), she WILL cut off your genitals. And bringing toddlers to a sporting event is out of the question. Zero enjoyment will result.

7. I am one of those who respectfully disagrees. I have thought a lot about this, and I would much rather have the Utes come into a rivalry game ranked highly so that we can rip their heart out. Maybe that makes me "wishy-washy," but it's how I was raised (outside of Utah, incidentally). NOTE: This is only true of college sports because of its system of rankings and conferences.

10. I think this is a personality thing. I'm just not a screamer. I'm too shy/introverted to be the only guy in my section standing and cheering. When I was a student, much different story.

The other five are totally fair and I agree completely -- especially about conflicting activities. (Sorry, ward Christmas party, I'm going to BYU-Eastern Washington on Saturday.)

Dylan Murphy said...

Not necessarily a rule, but something I have commented on in my own blog...saying the score backwards. Nothing annoys me more than, "it's 2-3." It's 3-2. It always has been, and always will be. Give the winning team its due diligence.

Benjamin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
shankopotamus said...

Just to clarify my comment on #4, you definitely still watch the game on TV, you just might not always be able to make it to the stadium without angering the wife. (At least in front of the TV you can pretend to play with the kids while watching the game.)

Shareen said...

Loved 1, 7 ,9! I hate people who pay for tickets and come to the game in a red/orange/green/purple or whatever shirt! Idiots!!! (esp. BYU fans in red?????) For some reason I tried to root for the Utes in the Sugar Bowl (really I was cheering for Alabama to lose,) but I felt dirty doing so. And of course, people should read this blog. It's awesome!!

Rock said...

11. If you attend the game in person, don't leave early. If your team is getting blown out, endure it with them. If they're blowing out the other team, enjoy it with them.

Trav said...

thou shalt kick ute fans in the nether regions when opportunity allows

Jillian said...

Thou shalt cheer for your team even in--especially in!--enemy territory.

ali said...

is there anything between 'not a fan' and 'first tier fan?'

ps, if you ever need a guest post about a former football hater turned fan, I'm game.