Wednesday, November 03, 2010

The Utah Utes: A charmed team

I'm trying to be temperate in my comments about the Utes these days, so if you're looking for a Utah hate-fest you'll have to look elsewhere.

...or come back here in a couple weeks.

Utah is good this year. Even bordering on great. When it comes to talent, they are locked and loaded yet again. Troy Calhoun, the even-keeled coach of the Air Force Falcons, called this year's Utes the best Utah team ever. It's no wonder they're undefeated and playing like a team which has truly found their sweet spot.

But I'm convinced it's more than just raw talent and good coaching. There's something about these Utes that defies convention. The ball seems to bounce their way (both literally and figuratively) every single time.

That's why I'm convinced they are a charmed team. A team of destiny sent to punish arrogant and prideful BYU fans.

I don't know if they sold their souls to the devil, or if they were just exposed to extra potent gamma rays, but Utah is practically invincible. That's why I'm picking them to upset the TCU Horned Frogs this week. Don't get me wrong, both teams match up well, but Utah is playing at home... and they have super powers.

Here's how the game will play out: It will be a back and forth battle where defense rules. TCU will get some shots in the red zone, but won't be able to convert. Utah will score on one or two long plays, but will ultimately be down four with two minutes left in the game.

That's when lightning will strike.

Jordan Wynn will bark out plays through that thin, blotchy face of his, and he'll work the two minute offense to perfection. They'll slice through TCU like a Domino's Pizza professional. A last-minute TD will win the game, and Utah will celebrate all night long in their hideously ugly black camo unis.

Utah will definitely win, of that I am certain, simply because they cannot lose. They are protected by the football gods. Kyle Whittingham is a fatter, louder King Midas.

As I see it there is only one team in the country that can challenge them: The Boise State Broncos.

I would love, LOVE, to see the Utes play Boise State, the one other charmed team in football. I think if the Utes and Broncos were to play, say, a BCS bowl, the universe would probably explode. Who would lose in that scenario? I have absolutely no idea, and I defy you to predict a winner.

Way to go, Utes. I don't know what backdoor deals you made to get to this point, but I gotta admit: I am jealous of all your success.


Anonymous said...

Adam, you look a lot like Jordan Wynn in that picture. Are you related?

Zach said...

I am sorry to say, but Utah would beat Boise State in a bowl game.

Ross said...

I'd take Boise in a showdown between the two. Boise has a TCU-like defense, but a better offense.

Shareen said...

The Utes must LOOSE to TCU!!! I think I am going to be sick....

Chris said...

Bold predictions, Adam. I like it! Maybe it's like in the Book of Mormon when the Nephites got too prideful and the Lamanites were allowed to beat up on them to teach them some humility. Maybe there's a lesson here for us arrogant BYU fans.

Shareen said...

Thank heavens you were wrong! Dead wrong!! Oh happy day!!!