Friday, November 14, 2014

I'm Back! And I'm not happy.

BYU just scheduled a two-game series with Missouri. The first game will be played next year in Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City (home of the Kansas City Chiefs), and the Missouri will return to Provo sometime in November of 2020.

That’s the news that woke me from my long sleep. The sleep that has kept me away from writing on my blog (a blog which I still pay $10 a year for, btw… Domain name protection probzz, am I right?).

Actually, I’ve been awake for a while. Up till now I’ve just been whining and pussing out (Seth’s words, not mine) to my friends on email. But I think they all got tired of this new version of me, so I’m turning back to my beloved blog. My blog, which doesn’t judge me even when I abandon my blue-goggled optimism in favor of a sour, disgusting (yet chillingly realistic) pessimism. My blog, which has been waiting for me all these years like a loyal Labrador. My blog, which will love me even when all the humans hate me. Well I’m back, boy. I’m back.

Okay then. Now, just a quick note to get you all caught up to where I’m at: I hate independence, my passion has been snuffed out, and I can’t shake the feeling that BYU football is dying a slow, slow death.

Yay! Want to keep reading?

Everyone seems to be really happy with the announcement that we booked Missouri for a two-game series starting next year. Really, really happy. All the Whos down in Whoville are singing and dancing, but I’m not there with them. I, the Grinch, am standing ominously on my lonely mountain drumming my fingers and scowling.

I see this game a little differently. I see this game as a non-conference “catch our breath” kinda game for Missouri. The SEC is notorious for scheduling these games in November. That’s why Presbyterian, Charleston Southern, Southern Alabama, East Kentucky, UT Martin and other lightweights appear on the scoreboards in the late season.

And next year we’ll see BYU there! Yay for us! Go Cougars!

Oh but you’re right, this is different. This game is in a neutral site. A neutral site that happens to be 119 miles away from the University of Missouri. A neutral site, but Missouri is going to keep all the revenue, just exactly as if it was a home game for them, and then pay us a nominal fee for our trouble.

Oh, and this is different because Missouri signed a deal to come back and play us in Provo… in six years. To quote Jeris: “A lot can happen in six years.” Babies will turn into kids, kids will turn into tweens, houses will be bought and sold, careers will change, and the University of Missouri will find a way to back out of their return trip to Provo.

Remember when we signed a six-game deal with Notre Dame? Four in South Bend and two in Provo? We played two in South Bend. And then the Irish said they’re done.

I am absolutely certain we won’t see the Missouri Tigers in LaVell Edwards Stadium. If I’m wrong, I will buy everyone who reads this a nice, refreshing, high fructose corn syrup-free Mexican Coke.

No, I’m afraid BYU is just getting kicked around again. And that’s kind of the way things are going for us right now. ESPN uses and abuses us, no conference wants us, and P5 teams treat us like garbage. We are College Football’s scrappy little hanger-on who just wants to be a part of the team. We are Ollie from Hoosiers (“I only count as half a player… equipment manager’s my trade”).

But on the bright side, we’ve got a GREAT road schedule next year. We’re playing a lot of great teams in their buildings. That’s going to be really fun for us.


Cade said...

It's good to have you back.

Becky @ Project Domestication said...

Welcome back. My favorite quote from this post, "My blog, which doesn’t judge me even when I abandon my blue-goggled optimism in favor of a sour, disgusting (yet chillingly realistic) pessimism."

And I think you should get yourself a loyal Labrador!

Sir Lance and Brittney said...

I saw your blog listed at the top of your Twitter feed and just assumed it (and your Twitter profile) hadn't been updated in a few years. Turns out it's up to date. Good read